someone once told me: i revel in solitude but it is in solitude which i despair the most in
THIS.
Relevant a million times over.
Leaves me kinda sad thinking about it.
Hi secret crush
I think about you every single day, every minute. Someway, somehow, you just sneak your way into every thought. Its like, i've included you in my life, subconsciously, effortlessly. But in reality its all in my head.
Why wont you get out? Why are you stuck in my head?
I miss the way i would purposely post videos of songs i know you love, and sneakily await the notification saying you like my post. Then i'd be like "lol i knew he'd be the first to like it!"
I miss the way we'd have silly conversations on facebook chat.
I miss the time you told me to collect all the really good songs you recommended and create a study playlist, which i still listen to every single day of my life btw.
And you told me that listening to the sound of rain is really calming and you love it when it rains at night then you'd be able to study peacefully.
And you made me listen to skrillex and josh groban and christina grimmie i really miss the way we used to talk about music. And math. Cos we both got a U for math once and you cheered me up and told me we'd work harder tgt.
And you said "let's go emo sometime" when i wished you a happy birthday.
I miss the way you'd smile and say hi to me in school whenever we pass each other in the hallways.
It's really funny, the way i'm recounting these things like as if we were really good friends but in actual fact, we weren't. We never were. We were just facebook acquaintances. I barely even know you but at the same time i feel like i do, and with what little i do know about you, i feel compelled to know you more.
I fell for you like craazy i dont even know how or why or when but it seems like its been forever
I dont even know what i'm really feeling. If its just an eyecandy thing or a crush or i really really like you. But normal people would easily give up after a few months and set their eyes on other people, but me? I've been feeling like this since i first saw you i am not even kidding right now. Ask my friends, they would know. It's been forever and its driving me insaane.
Now its all over. It makes me really sad how you dont even acknowledge me in school.
I miss feeling like i know you as a friend i could say hi to in school. Now its just awkward.
I wish you knew me as me and not just my name.
Its like, we're back to being strangers, not even acquaintances anymore and it makes me really, really sad.
i should move on.