Firstly, i am truly sorry for i think i sounded pretty harsh in my previous post.
Gah who reads this anyway. But still, i feel the need to apologize because i didn't see the bigger picture. And today, i was enlightened. I'm really glad i managed to have a substantial conversation with my friends today. I settled many issues and got things off my chest. With my teachers, classmates and my bestfriend.
Its truly been a day of reflection.
And i must say i feel quite relieved after today. But, my mind is still in quite a mess. So many things to think about. So many things waiting to be cleared on my to-do list.
Haven't found the drive to work hard yet. And i wonder, how long will this last? The anxiety, pressure, exhaustion, sensitivity ... How long will it take for me to get used to this hectic life and be numb to it, so that i can actually get started on some hardcore, real work. People say, no pain, no gain. But really, what exactly do we gain from all this pain? Is this really the life we want to pave for ourselves?
Life can really put you in a lose-lose situation sometimes.
I'm hanging by a thread and i wonder how much it takes for me to be able to hold on for much longer.
I've not even started yet, but im so tired already. Where's the strength i claim to have gained? No. I'm still weak. I've always been weak. I'm just probably numb to its effects now. But the weakness is still in me. I need to break out of this nightmare and start living in the real world.
"No pain, no gain"I hope i can find my strength soon before i crack amidst the heat. I need to get my momentum right now because there's clearly no time to be a baby about anything.
Well, here goes nothing.
xoxo