Maybe that's why i've been feeling the same way about moon since the first time i saw him. While most of my friends move on from one eyecandy to the next, i find it so hard to move on so easily like that. Lol okay i dont know what i'm talking about anymore everything is so muddled up in my head. It's like just a blob of thoughts. A whole big mess.
I guess i really like this guy..? Or i dont know. I'm afraid of my feelings. Afraid of feeling again because i don't want to be hurt again.
Oh well, what do i know i'm only eighteen. I've got the rest of my life to worry about these things.
For now, its just books > everythings else.
I've been studying a lot lately. More than usual. And i'm quite happy with myself. Studying distracts myself from all these scary thoughts. It numbs me further from my feelings. And i like feeling like that. Feeling numb. It helps me focus.
But i feel like i've lost my smile these days. And that's not good. I need to learn how to be happy again.
And i need my best girls to help me with that because i'm always happiest when i'm around them.
Not even the moon can make me smile anymore. Because i'm numb to all that boy drama in my life already. I'll wait till i'm older to understand my feelings in that department.
Ok goodnight now.